Posted by Great Stuff on May 13, 2008 at 14:49:42 (EST):
In Reply to: Consolidation Rant (for those who can appreciate the humor) posted by Dennis Miller on May 13, 2008 at 12:28:59 (EST):
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: You know, I don’t want to go off on a rant here, but what’s the deal with this consolidation, anti-consolidation thing. I’m not trying to beat a dead horse, but as an objective third party observer, and disheartened former Western Pennsylvanian, I have to say that this dispute and subsequent hostility has spun dangerously out of the realm of rational thinking. I mean, this blog contains more mudslinging than the truck and tractor pull at the Dayton Fair. Look, we need to sit down and talk about the issues here people, or else in few decades, this place is going to resemble a Kazakstani retirement ranch in the foothills of the Ural Mountains.
: The sign outside the route 28 county border used to read “the next best thing to Pittsburgh,” but more and more it’s looking like the County slogan should read “We put the “fun” in dysfunctional.” And I think at the epicenter of this dysfunctionalism is the deep-seated inability of its two biggest dogs, Kittanning and Ford City, to see eye to eye and unlock jaws in the political pit bull ring. Although the two communities share much in common, their ideas on secondary education couldn’t be further spread apart than Jenna Jameson’s thighs.
: Now let’s start with Kittanning, the larger of two towns, and slightly more cosmopolitan (although that’s like calling Larry Flint slightly more sexist than Hugh Heffner). Sure the people are nice enough, and it’s a nice place to produce Richard Gere box office flops, but there’s a deeper insecurity that lies beneath and I think that’s the driving force behind their majority consolidation stance. The Red and White constituency think that their opinions, like their Country Club membership, actually matter. And make no mistake; the consolidationist majority looks to gobble up community schools much like the Snyder family gobbles up mineral rights. I mean, with the Hitler-esque aggression that they’re trying to annex FC High School, I suppose the Poles and Czechs down there have the right to be a tad frightened.
: Look people, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, and right now the consolidationist method of persuasion is as sweet smelling as the QA department at a douche bag factory. Lighten up folks, this America, and vocal discourse and the nonconformists mindset is woven into the fabric of our society. If you’re having trouble selling your Super-Sized Value Meal, then hire a Marketing Executive, develop a well-planned strategy, and give away a Jim Solak bobble-head for everyone that votes “YES” for consolidation. Or, maybe tell the folks in Ford City that you want to merge educational institutions because, “you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and gosh darn it, we like you.”
: But then again, that approach may not work. The recent lopsided ASD Board election results show that Ford City residents are clearly saying that they don’t want to be the meat in a best friend sandwich. They are clearly happier being the sauer kraut in their own croc-pot. And if that’s the case, that’s fine. They just shouldn’t complain when the majority of their offspring, having received an archaic instruction from Mr. Flintstone and Mr. Rubble, will embark upon their careers by uttering the words: “Welcome to Sheetz, pump 5 is on…”
: The road to hell is paved with good intentions and right now Armstrong County is the asphalt delivery truck. The residents of this county need a reversal of mind-site here and start coalescing on what’s important for prosperity’s sake. Look, we all understand that these are small communities just trying to make it in the larger, modern world. This isn’t New York, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Paris, or even Madrid. We don’t have the running of the bulls, but we do have the leaping of the whitetails, and that’s something to be proud of. So let’s put down our funnel cakes, take our eyes of the fire works for a second, find some common ground, and decide……..Deal, or No Deal?..…
: Of course, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.
Bravo! Excellent post. Maybe the best I have ever seen on the board! So true! Everytime this consolidation issue rises, something smells. I do not think it is the sauerkraut in the crockpots in Ford City, but there is never a gesture of compromise.
Good forbid for people having pride in their communities and their schools. I still do not understand how this is such a horrible thing?
Good job!